Germany

Last night I gave away my favorite pair of earrings – some tiny crystal dangles I wear with everything. Just took them out of my ears and put them in the hand of one of my new friends who is working as a nurse in a country that is unfriendly to Christians. She is very cool . . . you would like her. And I cried, giving my earrings away. I realize how vain that sounds of me, but somehow it wasn't just a pair of earrings I was giving away. After all, I've given away dozens of pairs of earrings without even a twinge – probably more than one pair exactly like those. So today I've been thinking about why it was so difficult for me to do.

And I've reached one conclusion, so far. I will probably think about this more before it gets laid to rest, but for now just one main thing, which is this. I have in my mind designated every part of my life as either “Keep” or “Share.” For example: at home when I cook, I decide ahead of time whether to make enough for several people (share) or just one (keep). When visitors come to our home, I'm glad to let them stay in my room (share), but honey, I'm not about to give up my bed (keep). When I make things, I plan before I make them whether they will be mine or someone else's . . . and from time to time I have been known to move something from the “share” section to the “keep” section, but hardly ever vice-versa.

This time, I gave away something that was very clearly and very thoroughly mine. I made them, intending them for myself. I wear them all the time. And I can't just replace them, which makes this a legitimate sacrifice (very small, I know, but bear with me – it's the principle I'm after here).

I do that as well in my relationship with God. I say, “This much I will give you – yes, and aren't I generous? – but these things over here are mine. Come this far, please, and you're welcome! – but no further.”

It is hard to do, giving up things that we consider our own.